Save Yourself
by MerielTLA
Summary: “I think you should get the girl, I’ll carry the bear.” The nerd turned to look at him. Even through his facemask, Ground Zero could tell that the green idiot was smiling at him. “You got to her first, after all”. Katsuki set his jaw trying to ignore the smile and forget the last words Izuku Midorya had said to him almost two years ago. I need to be away from you!
1. Torn in two

CHAPTER 1

I am torn in two

Hold on, hold on

We're barely alive

I am faded through

Hold on, hold on

The fallen arise

I will fight this war for you

And let the dawn of love survive

Broken, I crawl back to life

-"Torn in two" by Breaking Benjamin.

- _Third year of UA -_

 _Katsuki Bakugou felt sweat dripping down his eyes._ _He didn't lose time cleaning it. He couldn't be distracted. The nerd was too observant, he fucking saw it all and it would use that split second as an opening to strike._

 _Ever since their fight after the provisional license exam, they had been meeting to spar every other Friday just before sundown. With Aizawa's approval of course, they didn't want to clean the dorms for all eternity._

 _Normally, they tried to make the other sweat and actually improve -not just let out steam-, they fought within reason to not completely wreck the school. Today though…the nerd was fighting for real, not as someone in a middle of a friendly match. But as someone that wanted to hurt. Katsuki felt as if the nerd wanted him to not be able to move for the next week. His hits were vicious, his kicks fast and almost too strong._

 _Any other day, Katsuki would be delighted to have a go at All Might's power, have his protégé fight him full on. Except, for all the focus on the nerd's eyes, his were distracted. Completely unacceptable, but after fighting for this long with no luck on concentrating, he had accepted that he might not win this one._

 _That didn't mean that he would just grant the match to the bloodthirsty nerd._ _The blond yelled before throwing himself at the other, missing the days when he had a good set of inches on him. Now, it was barely one and that meant that he had to use a lot more strength to physically overpower Deku._

 _Fuck, the green hero was built like a brick wall._

 _Deku mirrored his yell as they fell back to the ground and threw the first punch. Katsuki growled punching him in the ribs in return. Green-hair let out a war cry as he jabbed his knee on Bakugou's stomach and flipped their possition, punching the blonde in the face._

 _This fucking fight was turning into a full on quirkless brawl. And he was NOT. GOING. TO. LOSE._

 _"Okay, stop!" A voice rang out before a pair of hands pushed their shoulders away. They stopped fighting the second they saw a trace of a yellow suit. All Might was looking at them with a small frown on his gawnt face. "I think you two should cool off for a moment. This is a training excersice, not a bar fight."_

 _"Tell that to Deku here." Katsuki said while cleaning the blood from his lip. The nerd kept quiet…never a good sign._

 _"Young Midorya, is everything all right?" The former symbol of peace asked._ _"Y-yes!" Deku jumped, like he was getting out of a trance. "I just…I have a lot on my mind." He let out a small laugh before giving the hero a tight smile. "Thanks for stopping us, I think I will go change now. I need sleep for tomorrow, graduation day and all! Y-yes I will do that. Good night All Might! I will go, just now…rest yes…I need to rest." His next words were lost in a mumbling tirade as the hero got up and began walking to the dorms._

 _"I think you should go with him." All Might said, putting a heavy hand on his shoulder. "I believe he needs a friend right now. More than a mentor." He smiled before turning back to the teacher's quarters._ _Katzuki frowned and stomped in the same direction as Deku._

 _He was going to make that nerd talk._

\- 2 years later–

"Tell me Takata-san" Aiyomi Tsukensu asked her co-host in a conspiratory voice. "Who do you think will crack the top ten this year? There are a lot of candidates that could do it, we have Tsukuyomi, IcyHot, Ingenium, Froppy, Red Riot, Maria, Creaty and some even add the amazing rescue hero Uravity in the mix. We're at the peak of UA's star generation! And we have the Shiketsu heroes too where Gale is a huge favorite. So many candidates! My personal favorites would be the explosive hero, Ground Zero, Beast Jeanist's protege. Or Deku, the wondering hero, who has no agency but has been known to work alongside Lemillion, Kamui Woods, Sun Eater and lots of other high profile heroes."

"Well Tsukensu-san, I would love to see either of those heroes on the list. If not both. Who knows, they might bring us a..." The older man answered before the TV was abruptly turned off.

"Hey! I was watching that!" Mina yelled from her spot in the sofa, where she was sitting while petting Kirishima's hair, who was happily drooling all over her legs.

Ugh, couples were gross.

"And this is my house and I don't want to watch that." Katsuki drawled from the kitchen.

"So, you don't want to hear about the possible rankings or just because they named a certain green eyed, freckled hero alongside you?" Mina smirked. "Seriously, I know break ups can be hard but…"

"For the last fucking time, WE WEREN'T DATING! AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT FUCKING DEKU!" The blonde began to chop vegetables before pouring them in the pot. Why was he even cooking for these two anyway? He should be resting, not getting into this fucking old ass argument.

"Of course, you didn't." The annoying alien girl sighed. "And of course, all the dates we know you had, were just our imagination."

"Shut the fuck up or I'll kill you." Fucking so-called friends. Why did she have to start questioning him now?

"Come on babe." Kirishima's voice mumbled. "Stop tormenting him while he's cooking for us."

"I will poison both of you." The blonde barked.

"Come on! We all saw how you were just before graduation. Everybody knew about your training sessions, we saw you hanging out after school and both of you were so…happy. What happened? What did you do to him?" This time, Katsuki couldn't even control the small explosion in front of him, as he felt a twist in the ever-present hole on his chest.

"Where the fuck is this interrogation coming from?" He asked trying to clean his head and not burn down his kitchen. He did not want to think about this.

"It comes…well…" And if that wasn't a suspicious pause, Katsuki didn't know what it was. "It doesn't matter! You're both my friends and I don't want a scene at our wedding!" Bakugou groaned and passed his hand through his face. The fucking wedding, of course.

"It might be hard to believe." He was surprised on how even his voice sounded. "But I was not the one that caused this…I will not ruin your day pink-face" His voice died down. So fucking embarassing.

At least, his off-character demeanor was enough for the comments to stop. He just received a couple of worried glances and the pair changed the topic to tell him how fucking pikachu had saved a building filled with people from an insect-like villain.

Who knew, the idiot was not completely useless.

A couple of hours later, just before his uninvited guests left, the redhead waved at his girlfriend as she walked out the door before turning back to face his best friend. "Deku is coming to the city. I think you should know." Katsuki swallowed before nodding, putting his hands on his pants as he thought about the possibility of asking for some vacation days. Ground Zero and Deku were heroes that moved around the whole area, he fucking knew that for one reason or another, they would be asked to work together and for all his bravado, he…he was not sure if he was ready for it. "I-I…" Kirishima scratched his head hesitating.

"Just out with it, shitty hair." The redhead smirked at the old nickname.

"I know things went sideways for you guys, I gathered enough to know that Midorya hurt you." The blonde grimaced remembering Deku's birthday almost a year ago, his first birthday after their…downfall. The green asshole had made a party at half n' half's house and Katsuki had only found out a week after. Knowing that he was officialy no longer part of Deku's circle had hurt so much, he had almost drank himself to death. Kirishima had found him drunk out his ass, with a puke stained t-shirt and babbling about the nerd. It had been quite mortifying on the next day, but at least the redhead knew enough to not ask much about it. And now that he thought about it, the nerds birthday was coming again, he really hoped he could cope better this time. "But…have you tried contacting him again? It's been years and he never…"

"Do you fucking think I'm the one that told him to fuck off?" Katsuki growled already knowing what the other guy wanted to say. "The bastard asked me to keep away." Kirishima's eyes widdened in shock. "Yeah! And like you said, after…fuck! After the shitty things I pulled out on him, I can't even think of not doing what his green ass asked me to. So fucking stay out of it because I'm not planning to even breathe the same air as that nerd without having to absolutely do it." He passed a hand through his face. "Are you fucking done ruining my free day?"

"Fine, we'll leave." The other man sighed. His eyes said that he would try to get more information later. Katsuki both hated and loved him for that. The hardening hero had been the first one to never be afraid of him, just happily stand beside him and become an ever-present force in his life.

It had been new and refreshing to actually have a best friend, and not just goons that followed his every command.

"I'm kind of regretting not asking about this when you were nursing that epic hangover…" The redhead mused.

"Don't. Your quirk wouldn't have been enough to protect you from that explosion." Katsuki tsked. He had been too shaken up and heart broken. His already short fuse had been almost non-existent.

That was why he had decided to go back to Best Jeanist. He'd needed someone to help him control all the emotions inside of him and not ask any uncomfortable questions.

"Okay, not thinking about uncontrollable explosions that might kill me!" The redhead smiled putting his hands up. "Dinner at our place next week BakuBro!" Kirishima waved before making an exit.

Katsuki sighed and went to the fridge. He fucking needed a beer, and if he'd known what the next day had in store for him, he would've taken something a lot stronger.

"HELP!" Ground Zero ran up a stairwell of an appartment complex. A crazy, gigantic Villain had decided that that day was a good day to destroy things. The asshole had been an easy kill (not kill-kill but he had been KO-ed so fast, Katsuki had even felt insulted that he had been needed to defeat him) but had left quite the devastation around the area.

"Hey! Where are you?!" He yelled looking around, trying to know the location of the voice.

"AT THE END OF THE HALLWAY! SOMETHING FELL ON THE DOOR!" Katsuki thought it was a teenage girl, but he could be wrong, it could be a pre-teen boy or a grown woman with a high-pitched voice.

"What's your name?! Are any windows around?!" We walked to the direction she (?) said but there was a lot of damage around, no entryway on sight. The room was exactly on the side of the building that had been hit by the oversized bastard.

"I'M AKANE! THE WINDOW WENT DOWN WITH THE WALLS!" She was interrupted by some coughing. "IT SMELLS LIKE GAS IN HERE! MY BROTHER IS UNCONCIOUS! PLEASE HELP US!"

Gas. Shit.

"Are there more people with you two?! How old is your brother?!" He looked at the mess around the room, there was a wall to the far right that looked stable enough to make an entrance. If the gas was not a problem, some quick AP shots would've been enough for that, but as it was, he could either try to move the left-over shit to clear the door, or he could call for help.

"JUST US! HE'S 15 AND I'M 12!"

"Is he bleeding?!"

"HE WAS BUT I STOPPED IT!" Smart girl. Katsuki grimaced looking at the blocked wall. He was strong, but he accepted the fact that he couldn't lift a fucking wall that size. So, help it was.

"This is Ground Zero, I need back up! Send Pinky or Uravity my way!" Katzuki yelled at his comm. "We have a fucking gas leak, so if they're not available, just fucking send anyone that's strong but no fire or electric! Also, send someone to close all the gas lines, judging from the building's age, those should be down the basement!"

"Roger Ground Zero! Backup on its way! Please hold ground! Over." The sidekick said. He couldn't even remember his name, but the guy was useful enough.

"Alert medical care too, there is someone unconscious, he was bleeding but not anymore, still don't know his full status!"

"Roger that!"

Katsuki tisked trying to think of a way to reach the next room without using his quirk. FUCK HE FELT USELESS!

"Akane-chan! Are you hurt?!" He yelled trying to get his head clear.

"NO! I'M OKAY!" There was a small silence. It felt loaded. "YOU WILL GET US OUT…RIGHT?"

"Fuck yeah I am!" Ground Zero spoke confidenty. "But I will need you to do something for me first! Do you know where's the gas leak?"

"I THINK ITS FROM THE STOVE! IT'S AN OLD ONE!" He heard some movement. "IT'S BELOW THE WALL THAT FELL DOWN!"

"Ok! Go back to your brother and try to tell me where you are, describe the size of the room! That way, you won't be hurt when the rocks get pulled down!" He asked looking at the angles of the debree, trying to pinpoint the weakest spot and the danger zones. One mistake when pulling all down, and the whole wall could collapse on the kids.

"OK! WE'RE ON THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM! ABOUT 1 METER FROM WHERE THE DOOR USED TO BE! AND ITS SMALL…MY BROTHER IS BIG BECAUSE OF HIS QUIRK! HE TAKES UP A LOT OF SPACE!"

"What is his quirk? And yours!"

"HE'S A BEAR! HE TRIED TO SHIELD ME! THAT'S HOW HE GOT HIT IN THE HEAD!" Bakugou frowned. Animal quirks normally ran in the family, if she hadn't mentioned anything about helping with her bear strenght, that meant…

"You don't have a quirk, do you?!" A flash of bright green eyes filled his mind. He was quick to stomp it down into the fucking mental box he had for all things Deku.

"N-NO! I'M SORRY!" The girl was the first quirkless person he'd met since Deku. He was sure as hell not going to make the same mistakes with her.

"What the hell are you sorry for?! You have been the most useful rescue mission I've had! Some grown-ass adults just babble and cry! You are calm and know your surroundings! PRETTY FUCKING BRAVE AND HELPFUL FOR ME!" he was met with silence, but for some reason he felt that, for once, he'd said the right thing.

"Ground Zero!" Yelled a voice behind him.

OH, FUCKING HELL NO.

"Deku." He managed to say, not turning back. He was a fucking pro, he could keep it professional. And what the fuck was this timing? Did another quirkless in his world meant that Deku had to be summoned here? Fuck that. "There are two people behind the wall. No access points. This." He pointed at the lower right side of the wall. "It's the safest place to strike, not connected to any support beams. But we detected a fait smell of gas, the girl inside says it's from an old stove under all that, so be careful with the lightning." He didn't need to say anything else. He took a step back, motioning for the green hero to move forward. Fuck his life, but he trusted the green idiot to do his job.

"Akane-chan! Go to your brother and kneel close to his head, put his arms close to his body and cover your head! Tell us when you're ready!" There, all business.

He could do this. He would win this fucking twisted situation and not have a meltdown because he was seeing this fucking guy after years of complete avoidance.

"READY!"

"Ok. I got this." Deku spoke as he stepped in front of him and well, wasn't that a new suit. It was not far from his signature design, but a big thing was missing: No more extra strong gloves or boots, hardly any bagginess around his body. This style was more relaxed, more like…

More like All Might.

He saw the news, he fucking had all the Deku collectibles(would never admit it out loud). It wasn't like he didn't know that the nerd was mastering his power. But knowing something and actually seeing him there, in front of him, being the hero he had always meant to be, without Katsuki being a part of his life was…soul wrecking. So fucking painful that he had to restrain himself, keep calm and not fucking explode taking this whole shitty ass gas-leaking building with him.

He was no coward, but he knew that if it wasn't for Akane and his need to see that quirkless girl out of danger, he would've ran away. He had never been good with feelings, and the shitty nerd in front of him, always stirred a hell lot of them. And after a whole day getting people from under buildings, seeing their cries when they realized that the people they loved or their houses were gone, he was not in the mood to deal with more shit.

Deku touched the wall and spoke in a clear voice. "Here I go!" Deku pulled back his arm and fucking smashed through it. No lightnings in sight.

The hero in him jumped at the thought of sparring against this improved Deku. He'd had his share of strong ass villains, and he had training sessions with Kirishima and Todoroky regularly. But they were not Deku.

Fighting against him meant, not only fighting power, but fighting that huge brain of his. It was something he surely missed from their days in UA. But after what had happened the last time they had sparred, he was not too keen on even trying to have a rematch.

"I think you should get the girl, I'll carry the bear." The nerd turned to look at him. Even through his facemask, Ground Zero could tell that the green idiot was smiling at him. "You got to her first, after all". Katsuki set his jaw trying to ignore the smile and forget the last words Izuku Midorya had said to him.

 _I need to be away from you!_

Katsuki took a step forward, focusing on controlling his breathing. He could not afford to cause lose control in this place. Once he felt calmer, he hurried through the makeshift entrance and saw Akane kneeling next to her brother.

"Time to leave this shit hole." He grinned, his arms akimbo. "Hop on my back, Deku will take care of your brother." He pointed behind him, like it was easy to talk about the other man. Akane smiled in such a way, that her tear-stained face lost all the shadows. Did all the quirkless people had to smile like rainbows and sunshine shot out of their asses? His thoughts were interrupted when the girl stood up and ran to him, hugging his middle.

"Thank you." She sobbed.

"Yeah, yeah. We already stablished that you also helped a lot in saving yourself." He put a hand on her auburn hair, before pushing her and turning around, so she could climb on his back.

"Don't worry." Deku spoke in a soft voice. "I'll take care of your brother." Katsuki walked without looking at him. It was easier like this.

"Thank you, Deku-san!" The girl on his back spoke as Ground Zero went back to the stairs. "And you Ground Zero." Her arms tightened around his neck. "No one in school will believe that I was saved by Ground Zero and Deku!"

Yeah. Their first job together as pros, and he ended up as a complete ass, running away from the nerd.

Fucking embarrasing.

They arrived to the medical station, Deku hot on his heels as they left the siblings to be cared for. It turned out that the brother had a small concussion but it was nothing to worry about, their tearful parents thanked them loudly for bringing their children safe.

"Thank you Ground Zero!" Akane waved as he walked away. He raised his hand at her and decided to call it a day. Maybe the Villan had been weak, but rescue work had always been specially tough for him.

"It was really kind what you said to her. About her being brave despite being quirkless." Deku spoke as he matched his step. "A great hero telling her…"

"The fuck do you want Deku?" Katsuki interrupted him. Unable to bear the thought of that particular conversation.

"Well I…" In a quick movement, Deku was standing in front of him and blocking his path. Katsuki halted and glared at the freckled idiot. "Do you want to have coffee with me?"

The fuck.

THE FUCKING FUCK!

"Hell no!" Ok. Perhaps that yell sounded more like a screech, but he was not in complete control of his body right now. How dared the nerd even think about inviting him to coffee after years of total radio silence? After dumping him to the side without a second thought?

"I figured you would say something like that." The idiot murmured while passing his hand through his hair. He let out a breath. "Then…can we talk?"

"No. Out of my way Deku." He pushed him aside, fully knowing that he was able to do it, just because the nerd let him.

"Kacchan…" It was a faint whisper, but it was enough for Katsuki's heart to take a painful trob. No one had called him that in years.

"Don't fucking call me that!" Deku took a step backwards, his face shocked. He had never denied that name to him, not even when he'd been a complete hateful bastard. But after the way Deku had left, the way he had avoided him. Katsuki felt selfish and hurt. He did not want to hear his name like that from his mouth, it was too painful.

"Ka..." The words were interrupted as Katsuki flung himself at the nerd and grasped his collar.

"Shut up. SHUT UP!" His breathing was jagged and his heart beating wildly. He did not need this. He couldn't stand this. And he was not going to let this asshole see how broken he had left him. He yelled pusing the other man away as he began to see some onlookers around. Fuck. Best Jeanist would have an aneurysm if they started talking, or worse, if anybody got a video of their interaction. "Follow your word and leave me the fuck alone." He walked back, refusing to look at Deku's face and flew himself away from the area.

When he arrived home, he undressed and got in his shower. His hands gripped the tiles as he let the ice cold water run on his back, trying to find his center and keep calm. Fuck he hated how he could never control himself around Deku. The bastard always wormed himself way too deep into his heart and just made things difficult.

Why couldn't he just stay away? Katsuki had managed to continue living after that clusterfuck of a day. He had learned to tie in his emotions, he'd become stronger, more in control and people fucking respected him for the person he had become. And now, he felt as if he was back at UA, back at that God awful first year where he'd been stomped on until he fucking learned that he was not the very best (yet).

The year he'd learned to see fucking Deku for the hero he could be, not for the loser he had been.

And after all that, he had finally accepted just how important the green idiot was to him.

 _-Third year of UA-_ _Katsuki ran until he reached Deku. "Oi nerd!" He called and widdened his eyes when he saw the bastard walk faster. Oh, it was fucking ON. "Don't fucking run away from me!" And just as he began to see a trace of green lightning, Katsuki let out a proppeling explosion that sent him directly into the nerd's back, pushing him to the ground. He moved quicky to hold the bastard's head down. "Fucking talk to me Deku!" Deku trashed weakly for a couple of seconds before letting out a defeated sigh._ _"Fine." He spoke._ _"Don't even dare to think about running again." Bakugou threatened as he stood up and raised his hand for Deku to take._ _The nerd grasped it and stood, keeping Katsuki's fingers on his own. "This is our last night here." He mumbled after leting out a sigh._ _"Is this what has your panties in a twist?"_ _"A part of it, yes." He traced a couple of patterns on the back of the blonde's hand. Like an invisible secret being written on his skin. Katsuki forced himself to control the urge to blush at that small action."Sorry for going crazy during the fight."_ _"Fucking nerd, if it wasn't for All Might I would've beaten your ass. Dirty fight and all." The green haired idiot let out a small laugh. Katsuki raised an eyebrow noticing a trace of sadness in it. Maybe the nerd really was sentimental about the end of their UA years._ _"We're strong, aren't we?" Bakugou frowned and refrained from talking because ¡DHU! Of fucking course they were. "I-I…" He started but slowly closed his mouth. He kept quiet for a momment, letting Katsuki try to understand what was going on in his head. Normally, they had no issues understanding the other. After years and years of fights, they had finally found their sync. It was frustrating to go back to the moment where the nerd's mind was a complete mistery to him. "You have very soft hands." Katsuki llet out a surprised sound as he felt heat run through his cheeks._ _"Why do you have to be so embarrasing?" He groaned but kept his hand in place. Deku gave him a small smile, the little shit knew what he did to him._ _"I know it's thanks to your quirk. Like your mom… but for me it's such a Kacchan thing." The idiot kept talking, passing the tips of his fingers through Katsuki's palms making him shiver. Such an inocent action that was making his heart go haywire. He was so pathetic._ Kiss him! _A voice in his head yelled, eager to be heard. Maybe, this was the moment he was waiting for. He could do it. He could kiss the nerd until he made him talk, it would probably work better than yelling._ _Feeling his heart beat wildly in his chest, he took a step forward. And with the care of someone handling a porcelain doll, he let his other hand rest against Deku's cheek, noting how the nerd's breathing hitched._ _"Izuku…" The blond spoke, seeing the pair of unreal green orbs widen. He let his thumb caress the other's face before looking down at his lips._ _"Kachan…" His name was little more than a whisper. The nerd's hands twiched while they grasped his own. Katsuki moved closer, as close as he could be without pressing himself into Deku. He moved his face forward, letting his nose touch the side of Izuku's before resting his forehead against his._ Kiss him!!!! _He swallowed and braced himself. This is it. Don't fuck it up! He sighed finally letting his lips go to his…until a hand found his chest and stopped him._ _"I won't let our first kiss, be our last." Deku spoke against his lips, freezing him in place._ _"…what." Katsuki whispered trying to understand. Deku took a step back. His hand firmly putting distance between them._ _"I'm leaving."_ _"Like hell you are…not after..."_ _"Kacchan." Izuku's voice felt like a slap. It was cutting. The nerd squared his shoulders and raised his eyes to meet a pair of confused red ones. "I'm leaving" The blonde felt his throat close._ _A part of Katsuki had been waiting for this. He had fucking known that Deku would want to go somewhere else to train, to follow All Might's footsteps and become a hero of the world._ _And a bigger part of him, had hoped to be there with him._ _The biggest reason why his mind had been elsewhere during their training, was because he had set a deadline for himself: he would not graduate without talking to the nerd to put his feelings on the table. He'd been ready to do it that night, before the nerd had decided to dust him in training._ I want to travel the world with you. _His mind whispered._ I want to fucking kiss you _So, this was it. Maybe the nerd throught he wouldn't flllow him, all he had to do was say…_ _"And because this…I think we should keep distance." What the fuck?_ _"What the fuck are you on, Deku?" Katsuki growled._ _"I-I…" The nerd's eyes looked to the ground. "Shit…" Katsuki frowned hearing him curse. It wasn't the first time he did it, but normally it was during a hard ass battle or that time he almost broke his pinky toe when he hit the living room sofa. Not like this._ _"Spit it out already!" Katsuki started hearing his ears ring._ _"I need to be away from you!" Deku bellowed as he looked at him with a steely gaze. The ringing went up a nodge._ _"…what?" The taller man whispered, feeling his chest hollow. The ringing turning into static, like his body refused to continue hearing this conversation. No, no. This was not the plan. Maybe if he told him now he would…_ _"I will leave after graduation. Please don't try to contact me." The ringing stopped. Deku's eyes showed the same resolution they held when facing a villain. He was not playing around._ I need to be away from you! _Katsuki felt his body temble. This was not happening, the nerd couldn't be saying that to him. Not after all this time, not after he had wormed himself completely into Katsuki's soul. He could not fucking do this to him. "Like I would!" Katsuki yelled, his anger getting him out of his stupor, like the fucked up defence mechanism it was. "Just fucking leave! I don't care!" His voice broke. Shit._ _"K-Kaccan…" The green asshole looked at him, his expression surprised._ _"And you better train your fucking ass off nerd! Because I will do it and I will become the best! I don't need you in my life to be stronger!" He glared at the other before turning around, unable look at the other. "Let's start now, don't fucking talk to me Deku. From this moment on, I don't fucking know you." He walked back to the dorms. Letting his heart hope for a call from the nerd, for a whisper of his name._ _It never came._

-Present day-

Katsuki groaned and turned off the shower. He needed to forget that idiot. He had to focus and stop dweling on the past.

He dried up and put on his boxers before walking to his living room. He saw his phone light up and he fucking knew it would be something from his outburst.

It was not like people didn't know he was a hot head, but Deku, was fucking sunshine and flowers for them, and no one could ever talk ill to the nerd.

The worst was that they had history. The press would have a field day if they found out.

Katsuki walked to the fridge and began taking out things to make dinner. He was not hungry, but sure as hell was not going to let fucking Deku get in the way of his regime. He had to be in top shape to be the best.

He hardly knew why he was feeling so fucking upset.

Yeah, he felt like shit for the lack of contact, but he thought that he had accepted it. Over time, he had come to terms with the fact that he had no right to even feel bad about it when Deku had said he needed to be away. He had convinced himself that he'd been doing it for the nerd, giving back a little of what he had taken during their childhood.

But of course, he had been too good at hiding the red hot rage he felt for being dumped to the side. He had tricked himself into only thinking about work and being a fucking amazing hero. Not about the pain.

Katsuki poured the chopped vegetables in the pan as he took a deep breath. That night, after arriving to his room and feeling like he had been hit by a ton of bricks, he had promised himself to put everything aside, that he was not going to let his broken heart get in the way of his goal. He would show the nerd that he didn't need him to be on the top. And that was exactly what he would do this time. He would call Jeanist, endure the pep talk and ask for a couple of days, the HR department would be delighted about him finally taking some of his acomulated rest days.

It had been a while since he had visited his parents and All Might, he would even conside droping by Inko Midorya's house if he didn't know he would most likely run into Deku there. Fuck, the nerd would probaly be with All Might too. But with the condition the hero was, he couldn't just pospone the visit a lot longer.

"Besides, I am the one that has taken care of his old ass, not the fucking chosen one." He growled before sighing. That wasn't fair. He knew for sure that Deku was always informed about All Might's situation, he fucking called him daily and went to visit him as much as he could. He shook his head a turned off the stove.

The moment he was walking to the table with a bowl of soup, he heard a knock on his door. He growled and sat anyway, he was in no mood for visitors.

"Open up asshole!" Mina yelled from the other side.

"We have booze!" Kaminari's voice rang next.

"Guys, I think he want's to be alone." Sero's voice carried through. Yes, listen to him.

"He always want's to be alone, but it's our job to make him socialize" Pikachu spoke. That idiot had a death wish.

"Yo Bakugou! We're getting in." Kirishima spoke before he heard the sound of a set of keys. Katsuki sighed and walked to his room to put some fucking clothes on. The self named Bakusquad wouldn't leave him alone until he either killed one of them, or bulged and told them what was up, he had learned that the hard way.

"Oh! I smell food!" Was the first thing out of Denki's mouth as soon as they walked in.

"Don't fucking touch my soup!" Katsuki yelled walking back to the living room. The electric hero was already serving himself a bowl. "What the fuck pikachu?" He walked to him but was intercepted by a very angry looking Mina. "The fuck do you want pinky?"

"You just told me that you wouldn't make a scene if you saw Deku, and now you're on the news telling him to fuck off! How do you expect me to believe that you will behave at the wedding?" She demanded. Well, at least that was confirmation enough that there was a video.

"Fuck off! I'm tired and that asshole kept shitting around! Not my fault people decide to make a fucking mess out of a 3 second talk!"

"Why are you like this?!" She put her hands up. "It's like first year all over again! Why do you always have to be so difficult?"

"Fucking don't!" His hand let out a couple of explosions.

"Let's just calm down and not burn the apartment, ok?" Sero put himself between them. "Here." He pushed a bottle into Katsuki's hands. "Lets just drink and calm down."

"I'm on duty." Katsuki pushed the bottle away. "Now listen to me you shit heads. I will say this once and this is just because I'm fucking tired of always being labeld as the bad guy: it's his fucking fault."

"How? What did he do to you?" Kaminari asked as he walked from the kitchen. "Is it because he dumped you? Is that it?"

"Mina." He said ignoring the idiot. The pink hero looked at him raising an eyebrow. "Imagine the time when you started dating Kiri, when it was nothing official but you fucking knew it was coming…" He swallowed remembering how fucking right things had felt. How everything seemed to make sense and how he was sure what their next step would be. "Then, one night. He just comes to you and tells you to fuck off. Tells you that he fucking neeeds to be away from you." Her black eyes widened, same as the throb in Katusiki's chest. "He goes off the grid for years and they one day he just fucking comes to you as asks you to have coffee with him…wouldn't you just be ready to murder his fucking ass?"

"Shit dude" Denki helfully supplied. Sero whistled and Kirishima sighed, probably piecing together the whole story.

"Why…didn't you say anything before?" She spoke, he could see a darker shade of pink in her cheeks. She was embarrased and probaly guilty about what she had said to him.

"Stop it with the pity fest. I'm not mad at you." He shook his head. "I thought I had accepted it. Moved on." He shrugged. "I fucking swear to you that this won't happen at your wedding. I will win, not the fucking nerd."

"You are such idiots!" She groaned before taking the bottle from Sero's hand. "I'm not on duty. I need a drink to think on how to fix this!" She went to the sofa. "We all know how shitty you and Deku are for this kinds of things!"

"Don't get your nose into this, woman! I'll fucking kill you if this goes around the rest of those fuckers!"

"Yeah yeah, we'll keep the secret of you having a heart." Pikachu laughed as he walked to sit next to her.

"It's not like the rest of the class doesn't already think you guys went through a messy break up." Sero mused.

"Why did you bring them here?" He turned to Eijiro.

"Hey, we were worried. It's been a while since you exploded like that…no pun intended" The redhead shrugged with a smile.

"Fucking idiots." The blonde shook his head before going to sit at the table. He took his phone and looked at the mess of messages he had.

 **My office 8:00 am – Jeanist** **You're supposed to be a fucking PRO you brat! Stop yelling at Deku and just fuck him already! – Old Hag** **Just talk to him – Dad**

And of course, the Bakusquad chat was filled with notifications.

 **Kirishima** **BROOOOOO!! YOU'RE ON THE GOSSIP SITES** **Mina** **WHAT THE FUCK EXPLODO BOY!** **Pikachu** **DUDE! Way to break the internet!** **Pikachu** **Has sent a picture.** **Pikachu** **HAHAHA THERE ARE MEMES ALREADY!** **Sero** **How are there memes already! I haven't even seen the video!** **Pikachu** **HERE! Nothing new, Bakugou bitches at Midorya like normal, but now it was in front of people that don't know them./y 6ute6uo** **Sero** **I can't even tell what't they're saying!** **Pikachu** **THAT'S THE BEST PART! PEOPLE ARE GOING INSANE BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE FIGHTING FOR! HAHAHAHAHAHA** **Pinky** **Knowing Explodo boy, it was probably something stupid.** **Kisihima** **Don't ignore us Bakubro!** **Pinky** **BABY GET READY! WE'RE GOING IN!** **Pikachu** **Me too! Me too! Sero I'll pick you up!** **Sero** **Why?????????** **I want to sleeeeeeep.** **Pikachu** **GET BOOZE!**

Katsuki rolled his eyes at the conversation, while his idiotic friends began fighting over the remote.

 **Whoever posts a meme of this. I will kill you.**

He sent to the chat. Knowing full well that the idiot Denki would take it as a personal challenge to send him every single one of them. That would work to keep track on how much drama would be after the video.

At least people didn't know what they had said. So he could ignore it and just move on.

"Is jeanist mad?" Kirishima asked walking to sit next to him.

"Livid." He groaned passing his hand through his forehead. "The man might be in a wheelchair, but is still the same hardass hero he has ever been. I fucking know the type of dissapointed speech I'll get."

"Harsh. Fatgum is way more relaxed about things…and well, I don't go around yelling to the sweet hero Deku who might be as big as All Might" Katsuki growled darkly. "Hey, hey. I'm just voicing the press!"

"Fucking choosen one." Kiri frowned at him, not getting his words.

"Riiiight." He scratched his cheek. "In the other group…"

"Don't care!"

"Deku said to leave you alone." The blonde groaned and hit the table with his fist.

"FUCKING MARTYR PIECE OF SHIT!" He yelled hating this situation a little bit more. "Of course the whole fucking class will cuddle his ass even more. Fuck all of them!"

"Will you talk to him?" Mina said looking at them.

"Hell no."

"Aren't you curious?" Sero said taking the bottle away from Pinky. Sometimes he acted like the responsible father of the group, but other days he just joined the crazyness. Like that moment, where he just took a swing at the bottle. This was not going to end well. "I mean…Deku is so freaking hung up on you, it's embarrasing. Why did he tell you to leave him alone?"

"I don't care."

"YES! YOU DO!" All four of them yelled at him.

"Man…just give him a chance. He did give you like a million chances. You owe it to him." Bakugou glared at the other blonde. The idiot looked really fucking satisfied with himself. That was not acceptable.

"DIE YOU FUCKING PIKACHU!" He yelled jumping the couch to murder the idiot.

After a lot of yelling, laughs, a pair a bruises and a neighbor complaining for the noise, the squad left him alone with a growled promise of thinking about it. He saw them out and went the fuck to sleep.

Tomorrow better be the fucking best day of his life. He was tired as shit of this.

"You're suspended." Katsuki pressed his jaw but didn't say anything. Jeanist crooked his head and looked at him for a moment. "Or maybe not."

"Just make up your mind." Ground Zero glared at him.

"You've changed." The hero let out a small laugh. "Light years from the yelling kid that came for his internship."

"Is this going somewhere?" He had an inkling on what the other hero wanted to say.

"I'm just trying to understand. After years of behaving like a passable form of human decency, you cross paths with Deku and you dump it all to the trash." He pushed his chair to the window next to his office. "I talked to Eraser Head. He tells me that you have a history. I don't care about your personal issues, but I do care about the image of my agency." He drummed his fingers on the chair. "You are close to become one of our leaders, except for situations like this. So, I have a proposal for you." Katsuki braced himself. "A mission with Deku, having your best behaviour and actually letting the public see you working together and let them know that you're professionals that caan respect each other." Ground Zero felt his insides twist. He fucking knew that the next option would be something so low, he would have to choose to work with Deku. "Or a month suspension, no pay."

"Sounds like there's only one option to me." Ground Zero answered. Like hell he would stay one month without hero work, and having that on his record.

"Excellent." The hero moved to press an intercomm in his desk. "Send him in, please."

"Yes, Best Jeanist."

Katsuki took a deep breath. Fuck yeah. He could win this. He would be the best behaved hero in the country. The fucking nerd wouldn't even recognize him.

After all, he had been the one to say that ne needed to be away from Katsuki.

I will beat you, Deku.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Lies are spoken  
When the venom crawls inside  
Faith is broken  
When the fire fills our eyes  
Love lies hopeless  
When the hate becomes the high  
Pain is chosen  
When the devil comes alive

"Save Yourself" by Breaking Benjamin

 _Izuku Midorya opened his eyes. It was dark. He felt cold._

 _What happened? He looked around, trying to remember how he had arrived here…his memory was blank. He tried to move but found that he was fully tied up. He felt paralized, he… "KACCHAN!" Deku yelled as he saw a couple of dark figures carry the man by his arms. He looked severly beat up. Izuku fought against his restrains._

 _Nonononono_

" _KACCHAN! WAKE UP!" The shadows moved until they put him inside a sort of cristal cell. They secured him into a chair and immovilized his hands with a pair of shackles. Kacchan looked to be out of it, but his eyes began to open. "KACCHAN! FIGHT THEM!" The figures closed the cell. "KACCHAN! WAKE UP! PLEASE!" Izuku yelled, dread filling him. His heart twisted, he had a very bad feeling about this. "What will you do to him?!" The shadows moved to a control panel, ignoring him completely._

 _His breaths turned shallow as he watched a mechanic arm moving towars the blond, a syringe attached to it's tip. "D-Deku…" Came a faint whisper. Kacchan looked at him, clearly having to make an effort to do it. "It-t's…okay" The machine moved and stabbed the syringe-thing on his arm. Katsuki trembled, barely recognizing the pain._

" _Kacchan…" Deku willed himself not to cry. He had to be strong for both of them. He could not break like this. "Fight this!"_

 _Ground Zero's eyes seemed to steel themselves, preparing for whatever that thing would do. His breathing was labored, Deku could not see the effect the machine was making on him, but he was sure something was going on. Then, Kacchan's expression turned pained, the man pressed his teeth and fisted his hands. "Kacchan!" What was this? What were they doing to him?_

" _Shit!" Kacchan breathed before a his hands trembled and set of explosions detonated from them. That would be normal, if it wasn't for the fact that Izuku could see his muscles spasm in ways they had never done before._

 _Wait…_

 _The blond yelled as another wave, stronger this time, exploded._

 _No._

" _GAH!" Katsuki's whole body began to shake. The explosions kept comming. His hands were fiery red, his eyes tearstained._

 _NO!_

" _KACCHAN!" Deku sobbed when he finally understood. They were triggering his quirk. They were making him hurt himself. "STOP!" He trashed and twisted all that he could, but nothing helped. How could they restrain him like this? Why wasn't One for All working? Another pained grunt took him out of his musings. The explosions intensified, faster and faster, nearing their maximum power. Kacchan could barely keep his eyes open while he convulsioned between each blast._

 _There was blood on the floor._

 _Deku felt his body dry heave. The skin on Katsuki's hands was falling off, his beautiful soft hands were now bloody and mangled. His arms weren't much better, they were swollen and bright red. "NO! NO! KACCHAN!" He pushed. Desperation clawing his insides. Katsuki's screams were weaker and weaker, the explosions going far from what he knew to be Kacchan's limit. "Please…"_

 _There was one agonized cry before one last explosion. So large, it filled the cell with smoke. Izuku stopped breathing as he frantically moved around, trying to see the other man. Waiting for the smoke to clear._

 _There was silence, deafening silence._

" _KACCHAAN!" He screamed as far as his throat allowed him. In the chair, pale as ash, was the only man he had loved. His body destroyed, his eyes completely devoid of life._

"KACCHAN!" Deku yelled, sitting up, his body trying to draw air into his lungs. Trembling, he looked around, attempting to gather his bearings. He was on his bed, in his house.

Just another nightmare.

His body felt tense and heavy. He passed a shaking hand through his face, his movements sluggish. Izuku took another chocked breath trying to come back to reality.

"Fuck." He sighed letting himself back into the bed. It was clammy with sweat.

He moved his eyes to his night table. There, like a beloved treasure, was the print of his last photo with Kacchan. It was the two of them, they had gone out to eat katsudon for his birthday. It had been one the most perfect days of his life.

The photo was simple really, they were on each side of a table, Izuku was wearing a stupid birthday hat that the restaurant had given him and Kacchan was sitting at the other side, laughing.

Not the mocking grin he normally had, but an honest beautiful happy laugh.

 _Follow your word and leave me the fuck alone_ _!_

Izuku felt like crying as he remembered the pain in Kacchan's face after their rescue mision. "I'm sorry…" he murmured to the empity room. He pressed his fingers to his eyes, they hurt. He was sure they were swollen and bloodshot. He really hoped that the house's thick walls had shielded his poor neighbors from his screaming.

"Stop it." He pressed his hands to his face. "Come on. You have a meeting with Jeanist. You have to fix this!" He let out some air before pushing himself out of the bed and standing up. "Ohh…" He shook his head feeling vertigo. Ok, bad idea. Forcing his body to move, he zigzaged to his bathroom and undressed. Maybe a shower would help him feel like a human being again.

He let the water run down his back. Allowing the heat to relax his tired muscles as he tried to clear his mind. It felt like a routine now. Every other morning, it was the same thing.

Night terrors, sweat stained sheets and a sore throat.

There were better days than others. Some good dreamless nights, where he was too exhausted to even think, others it was just waking up with a sense of persecution, stressed out his mind but not remembering why. Then, there were the bad ones, like last night. Where he had been almost too afraid to go to sleep, already dreading what the night had in store for him.

But he couldn't give up. He couldn't let the nightmares bring him down, he had to keep going. He had to win.

Finding a new wave of resolution, he finished his shower and went to dress himself. It was a lot earlier than what he had planed but it was okay, now he had time to make breakfast and watch reruns of the hero news.

"Who am I kidding? They will only talk about the videos from yesterday…" He sighed. He had yet to figure out what had possed him to invite him for coffee, he already knew perfectly well how the blonde would react, besides, none of them even liked coffee. He'd been lucky Kacchan hadn't exploded on his face.

Even his friends thought he had acted without thinking, but he had been so incredibly happy to finally see him, after so long, that hadn't bee able to help himself.

He groaned remembering the 1A chat yesterday evening.

 **HAGAKURE**

 **Midorya! The hero news are talking about your fight with Bakugou!**

 **ASHIDO**

 **WHAT?! WHAT FIGHT? DEKU'S BEEN BACK FOR LIKE A DAY!**

 **TSU**

 **Those two don't really need more time to argue. Is everything OK, Midorya?**

 **KAMINARI**

 **HERE'S THE VIDEO!**

 **URARAKA**

 **Ohh! Deku-kun, are you okay? What did he say to you?**

 **SHINSOU**

 **Probably DIE! DIE! DIE!**

 **KAMINARI**

 **Hahahahahahahahha**

 **HAGAKURE**

 **Hahahhahaha**

 **KIRISHIMA**

 **Just let them figure it out guys.**

 **IIDA**

 **I agree with Kirishima-kun. They can solve their differences together.**

 **JIROU**

 **Can they though? I feel that this is very old news…**

 **YAOYOROZU**

 **I feel the same. But I do think you should make a statement Midorya. My family has had scandals before, it is better to clear things out before they escalate.**

 **TODOROKI**

 **I agree with Momo.**

 **SHOJI**

 **What will you do Midorya?**

 **DEKU**

 **Thank you for worring about things. I'll figure it out! Just please, don't antagonize him about it. This one was on me, I asked him to have coffee with me and he…didn't like that.**

 **JIROU**

 **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA**

 **KAMINARI**

 **MIDORYA OMG! HAHAHAVAHA**

 **URARAKA**

 **Well…at least that explains the screaming.**

 **IIDA**

 **I believe that was a poor choice on your part my friend.**

 **SHINSOU**

 **I would pay to see Bakugou's face after that.**

Deku had rolled his eyes at that and put the group on silence. He'd expected things to die down after a couple of hours, but he'd never thought of the _event_ that was Ground Zero and Deku working together. Also adding Ground Zero losing his temper, those videos had become the sort of news that seemed to be snowballing into a full on scandal.

Only because he had to open his mouth and say the wrong things.

"Ahh! I hope this works!" He yelled at the empty house. As soon as his notifications had blown up and he had figured out what had happened. He hadn't lost time in talking to Best Jeanist, he knew he could fix things if that man agreed to his plan.

He sighed, turned on the TV and went to the kitchen.

"…Ground Zero has a history of conflict…" Izuku groaned as he went to prepare a sandwich. He hated when commentators talked about Kacchan that way. He was a far shot from what he had been as a teenager.

"Being stubborn and not liking to lose, it's only bad for the bad guys!" Another one said, he liked her. "Besides, Deku didn't look to be affected by whatever they were talking about. Are we making this mess just out of a 30 second video? I think we should be talking about how both of them saved a couple of kids. Or how Uravity saved two dozen people from a collapsing building."

"Go Uravity!" He smiled feeling stupidly proud of his friend. He poured a glass of juice and walked to sit at the table. He took out his phone and went to the _Dekusquad Upgraded_ group.

He smiled remembering how that name had come to be. Back in their 2nd year of UA, during the sports festival, the last contest before the individual matches, had been team up brawls.

Two teams had formed almost instantly.

Kirishima, Ashido, Sero, Kaminari and Bakugou.

Iida, Uraraka, Tsu, Todoroki and himself.

The _Bakusquad_ had been loudly named by Ashido when Midnight had asked for it. In their case, Todoroki had pointed a single finger at him as said _Dekusquad_ in a clear voice. The whole stadium erupted in cheers, already knowing about Deku and Bakugou's rivalry.

When Shinsou had been added to the chat, ha had modified the name to Upgraded, saying that he was an improvement to the original group.

 **DEKU**

 **Awesome rescue job Uraraka! The news are talking about you.**

 **SHINSOU**

 **Still not as much as you and explodo boy.**

 **Good job Uraraka.**

Deku lowered his head in shame. He hated when the gossip sites and the news talked about him like that. It was almost like a year ago, when people were convinced that he was dating Uravity.

 **DEKU**

 **I'm sorry!**

 **IIDA**

 **Not your fault Midorya. My brother warned me a lot about the press. Just lay low and they will forget about it.**

 **IIDA**

 **Even so, I find it highly disturbing that they are choosing to report this, instead of the dissaster. Great hero work Uravity!**

 **TODOROKI**

 **Don't accept any calls from unknown numbers. They're reporters most likely.**

 **And good job Uraraka.**

 **SHINSOU**

 **You sound like you have experience on this.**

 **TODOROKI**

 **Yes.**

 **URARAKA**

 **Deku-kun! You can do it!**

 **TODOROKI**

 **Do what?**

 **URARAKA**

 **Oops…meant to send it just to him.**

 **TODOROKI**

 **Oh.**

 **IIDA**

 **Wharever it is, I'm sure Midorya can do it!**

 **TODOROKI**

 **Yes.**

 **ASUI**

 **Hello Everyone. Great job Uravity!**

 **Deku, you're going to contact Bakugou again, aren't you?**

 **URARAKA**

 **Ohhh! You're so smart Tsu-chan! And thank you guys :)**

 **DEKU**

 **Something like that. Wish me luck!**

"What are you on about! Everybody knew that All Might and Endeavor didn't get along…" The discussion kept going in the TV. He was liking the woman commentator more and more. "But they worked together when they had to. No one cares if Deku and Ground Zero are not best friends, as long as they can work together." The other man kept shaking his head, clearly having to play devil's avocate in the show.

"Tsukensu-san, Takata-san if I may?" Deku frowned not recognizing the third voice. For all his life, this particular show had been only a 2 commentators thing, but they seemed to be trying to include a third one. He looked to be only a couple of years older than him. The sempais nodded at the guy and he began to speak. "I believe they _should_ get along." The man stressed forcefully, but not loosing his respectful manner. "Ground Zero, a hero that doesn't lose, that keeps going and going until the villain is out, like some sort of victory figure. And Deku, a hero that doesn't have an agency, a hero that should not be great, but is so great that is being called the Symbol of Hope." Deku felt his breath hitch at his words. "All Might, the Symbol of Peace, was unstoppable, he never lost and his mere presence kept the villains away…do you see what I'm saying? Those two working together could be amazing! Almost like having All Might again!"

"I believe you're seeing too much into things Hanata-kun." Tsukensu's words were kind but she clearly thought that the other man was insane. "I believe that they are big, but All Might was in a completely different league. You are young, so maybe you don't remember him all that well."

"Don't take away his credit Tsukensu-san." Takata-san spoke, looking throughful. "I believe…this could become something interesting." The man smiled delighted. "The Symbols of Hope and Victory, has a nice ring to it." Deku made a shriek kind of noise. He was sure his heart had stopped after hearing those words. "We're almost out of time, so people of the world, tell us what you think! You know our Herogram adress. Let us know your thoughts on…" Izuku turned off the TV and just sat there, trying to come to terms with what he had heard. This seemed to be going further than he expected. For the last 2 years people had talked about them, yes. But for some reason, having them interact had stirred _something_ in their overall perception of Pro heroes Ground Zero and Deku. And now the words _Symbols of Hope and Victory_ were forever attached to their names.

It didn't matter if people agreed on them or not, they would use that reference. Damn. It was amazing how it all had blown up in a little more than 12 hours.

He sighed resting his forehead on his hand. He could feel a headache coming, probably because he hadn't had a decent night-sleep in days. He let out a small depreciating laugh. If he was just plain looking on a good day, he must look like death now…contrary to Kacchan, who's face was just as perfect as he remembered it. His hair like a golden halo and his eyes…his eyes.

"His eyes that hate me. Argh!" He groaned before finishing his food in a couple of bites. In all honestiy, his stomach was in knots at the moment. But he was not going to stop taking care of himself because some night terrors. Once he was done, he finished putting on his hero gear and walked to his door.

Izuku took a very deep breath and closed his eyes, then, Pro hero Deku put a smile on his face and walked out to the world.

After an unevenful trip to Best Jeanist's agency, he was now sitting right outside his office. He knew that Kacchan was inside, probably being under the whole power of the veteran's _dissapointment_. He felt bad about it, knowing that it was partly his fault. Kacchan had acted in a porfessional way until he decided to open his mouth and all went to shit. _It's like the past all over again!_ He thought dejectedly remembering his middle school years and how hard had it been to never being able to comunicate with the blond. The worse was that this time, it was all his fault.

But he could not give up, he had to fix things. For both their sakes.

"Deku, Best Jeanist is calling for you."

"Thank you." He smiled at the assistant and walked to the door. "Good morning." He greeted.

"Good morning." Best Jeanist said from his spot near the window.

"Morning." Ground Zero said nodding his head. His expression was neutral and his tone 100% polite. Deku knew that face, it was his PR face, and he hated it, because it was the furthest thing from his passionate and crazy man.

 _This is going to be harder than I thought._

"Now that you're both here. Let's talk about your mission."

The briefing was concise and to the point. There was an unidentified villain capturing people around the area of Hogsmeade. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary, except, Deku had to force himself to concentrate a couple of times, as his eyes continued to shift to the man next to him.

He couldn't get enough.

Izuku felt like a starved man, and Kacchan was the most exquisite banquet he could ever imagine. The sharpness of his jaw, the haughty raise of his nose, the ruby red of his eyes. His beautiful golden hair…it was really fucking hard to see him like that and have an invisible wall between them.

He wanted to be able to grasp, to touch and just plain look at him. He missed that liberty. He had lost his rights and it was killing him.

"Sick bastard." Kacchan spat when Jeanist explained that the villain seemed to enjoy torturing couples or siblings at the same time, until at least one of them broke down.

He felt his throat close.

 _Ashen skin, blood, so much blood…_

Deku shook himself and willed his mind to pay attention, there was no use in dwelling in the past, not when he finally had a shot at fixing things.

"There is no physical harm done to the victims. So we are led to believe that his quirk is mind-affecting. The survivers have not been much help…they're all in psychiatric wards at the moment." Jeanist continued. "When I discussed this with the police, they tried to have Persuasion as part of the team. But I have the feeling that having similar quirks battle like this, could be harmful for him. I rather have the hero that could break through Persuasion's branwash and has experience dealing with mind quirks, parnered with stubborn man with a high psychic resistance. Two heroes that can become a highly coordinated team…"

"We have never worked together." Ground Zero said. His voice was controlled but strong. "Deku has worked a lot more times with Persuasion. With them, you have strenght and mind, the complete set to make this work. Don't compromise a mission just to make us look good with the press."

"We might've never worked together. But I trust you, more than Shinsou, more than anyone." Deku spoke looking at Kacchan. "And I know you trust me. With villains that like to play mind games, trust is a key factor." Izuku could see a tic in his jaw. But the other man kept quiet. If it was for the presence of Jeanist or because of his words, he was not sure.

"We also need to be careful with this. We don't know how strong this villain is." Jeanist continued. "Or if he has goons at his command. We need heroes that are smart yes, but can also do stealth work and have a high chance at winning in face to face battles. You two are my best bet to that." Deku nodded, feeling a warm sense of pride.

 _You two._

"We have created an event, for you to have an excuse to be in the area without making people talk or our villain wary." He pushed a couple of folders to them. "A new comunity center is being opened in the neighbor district of Kamino. We will have the press and everyone there. For any onlooker, it will seem like a circus done only to prevent more image damage for the videos. It's close enough for you to travel to Hogsmeade during the night with only the use of your quirks." The man's eyes took a dangerous glow. "The narrative is simple, Deku and Ground Zero, playing nice with the kids and acting like best buddies. It's the dream of our PR department." Kacchan let out a grunt and shook his head.

"Staged so well that people will complain about it." He commented. "I can see the hadlines: heroes use children to clear their name."

"Yes, there will be backlash but we're prepared to deal with that in order to catch this villain. We need to get him before the league tries to recruit him."

"I like the idea. I guess our argument kind of works in our favor now. Huh?" Deku smiled warily to the other hero. Knowing full well that Jeanist was giving him a _look_.

This whole operation had been Deku's idea, after all.

"In the folders you have all the information there is on this case." The older man continued. "To start, please go with Higashi-san. She will coordinate the comunity center event. And remember this: only the three of us and the police know about our villain, I expect 100% discretion. You're dismissed." They nodded.

"Thank you." Both of them said, in perfect sync. Jeanist smirked as Kacchan growled before walking out. Deku smiled a little and followed him out.

"Ka- _Bakugou_ -kun! Wait up!" He reached the hero and was able to catch a glimpse of a weird expression on his face, right before the man schooled his features into the neutral one he had during the meeting.

"Higashi-san comes in until eleven." Kacchan said, still not looking at him nor slowing his walk. "The PR office is on the east wing, seventh floor. Just look for the sign. I'll see you there at that time."

"Where are you going?" He matched the other's step.

"Patrol."

"Can I come?" Izuku knew he was pushing it, but he had to fix things, and the only way was to be seen with Ground Zero as much as possible.

"No. I'll see you at PR."

"Wait." Deku moved to stand in front to the other man. And damn, Kacchan looked pissed, but clearly trying to keep his anger under wraps. "Jeanist said that we need to be seen working together. Having a patrol around the area and then going to Kamino, only works in our favor." The man glared at him. "Ka- _Bakugou-_ kun. You know this needs to work. We need this PR thing to be as orchestrated and shady as possible."

"The press would never even put 'shady' and your ass on the same sentence." Deku raised his eyebrow seeing the mask begining to crack. The real Kacchan was about to come out. "The people's golden boy would just be doing me a favor."

"Come on, people like Ground Zero."

"They fucking love me!" There it was. His proud and beautiful Kacchan. The man seemed to catch his slip and managed to go back to an indifferent expression. "That doesn't negate the fact that I know how I am. And even though I hadn't had any real issues until you decided to show up, the general public will dump this shit on me."

"They won't if we do this correctly. We should be seen patroling together."

"For fucks sake!" Kacchan raised his hands in exasperation. "Just do what you want. I don't care!"

"Ok! Lead the way Ground Zero." Deku grinned at the glare that was thrown at him. It wasn't like he was not used at being on the receiving end of that glare. A little rusty yes, but those kinds of things were never forgotten.

A couple of hours later, they were back at HQ and Deku was exausted.

He should've known that it wouldn't be easy. That even if Kacchan was letting him patrol by his side, it wouldn't mean that he was closer at being forgiven. Or that Kacchan would make things easy for him.

As soon as they were out, Ground Zero had propelled himself to the top of the buildings, choosing vantage points to look at the whole area. It was a good plan, and they had stopped a small store robering thanks to that. But what had taken away his energies, was the silence.

The man had not spoken a single word to him in the last two hours.

He had been effective against the bad guys, and had not been overly agressive, heck, he had even smiled at the elderly couple that owned the shop. But the moment they were alone, the mask and the silence came back hitting Deku like a ton of bricks.

Ever since they had fought back in their first year, Kacchan had opened a new set of doors to him. One where they could talk about tactics, quirks, heroes or even the newest comic books. It had been such an exhilarating feeling that Izuku had never gottend enough of. He was not only tolerated by Katsuki, he was becoming his actual friend.

The moment those seemengly shallow talks became loaded, when the blonde talked to him about his fears, his dreams and his problems, not needing a fight to push his words out. Had been the moment he had accepted how much he loved that beautiful and flawed man.

And dear All Might, that had not changed.

Then, on top of it all. Each time Ground Zero shouted as he battled the villains, Deku lost his cool. He had never fully aknowledged what it would do to him to hear the other make the same kind of sounds he did in his nightmare. He was sure it was all part of this mess, but he muscled through it, like he had done for the past two years.

 _I will win this._

A couple of times he had been forced to stand back and try to regain focus, as his mind kept going back to that awful cell and that damn chair. He should've known that it would be a possibility when seeing Kacchan again. But that didn't change things, he had to keep going.

Thanks to this, he never noticed how the blond's eyes watched him a little closer as the time passed.

"This way." Kacchan said, going to the elevator. Deku let out some air and followed him. Once they were inside, the hero simply crossed his arms and continued with the silence.

"I talked to Aishido a week ago…" Izuku began, unable to bear the awkwardness. "She seems excited for the wedding." The blonde grunted. "Kirishima must be nervous, he…"

"Stop talking." The man glared at the elevator's display, like his glare could make the thing go faster.

"No wonder she's so stressed about us at the wedding." Deku talked glaring at him.

"You little fuck!" The blond finally moved to narrow his eyes at him. "They say it's me but you're just as bad. I know very well what kind of shitty personality you have, Deku."

"Hey! Don't you dare talk to me about shitty personalities. Have you met you?" Izuku challenged, tired of being treated as a pariah.

"At least I aknowledge it! And I don't go around raising people's expectations of me and then throwing them aside like they don't matter!" _Oh._ Kacchan cursed passing a hand through his face. "Just stop talking."

"You know I won't do that. I won't stop trying to…" Kacchan growled before taking him by the front of his suit.

"YOU WERE THE ONE WHO LEFT!"

"I know." Izuku spoke in a low voice. Kacchan's face showed that there was an internal battle going on. Izuku knew that it probably meant that his ego was stomping down the need to ask _why did you leave me?_ Once the battle seemed to settle, red eyes looked at green ones.

"Why did you have to come back?" His voice was so low, that Deku barely heard him. He felt his heart break at the sheer hurt of his voice.

"Because I couldn't stay away." Hesitantly, he moved his hand to grasp Kacchan's, but just as he was about to touch it, his vision was filled with blood and mangled skin.

He trembled before he put his hand down. _I'm sorry._ He swallowed hating himself a little more for his weakness and inhability to overcome the nightmares, he just wanted just get over this situation.

 _I just want to see you smile again, I want to go back in time and kiss you and not break both our hearts._ He was so entangled in his thoughts, he wasn't able to see how Katsuki's eyes had narrowed at his actions.

"Bullshit." Kacchan talked, regaining Deku's attention. He let go of him, squared his massive shoulders and looked back at the elevator's screen.

"I will convince you that it's not." Deku spoke, trying to let go of his ghots in order to smile at the other man. "I will fix this."

"Don't do that." Kacchan spoke, still not looking at him.

"What? I can't even smile now!" The elevator's doors opened.

"Not like that. Not like it makes you sad." The blond said before taking an exit. Deku fisted his hands and looked down, sometimes he forgot that Kacchan also knew him better than anyone. He took a deep breath and followed through.

Higashi-san was a middle aged woman that clearly didn't like Ground Zero. The moment they had entered the office, her face had morphed into quite an impressive scowl.

"Ground Zero." She said, adjusting her glasses. "We meet again."

"Higashi-san." Kacchan spoke with a sardonic expression. "I see you look as lovely as ever." Her glare intensified before she let out a gush of air.

"And you're making me work overtime. No news there." Her eyes traveled to Deku and her face changed into a delighted smile. "Deku! My name is Riku Higashi, I'm the Public Relations head in this agency. It's such a pleasure to finally meet you; I'm a huge fan." She vowed to him presenting her professional card.

"Oh...ah…nice to meet you too!" He vowed a couple of times feeling his cheeks burn. He would never get used to this.

"Just take the card, nerd." Deku jumped and did as Kacchan told him.

"Don't insult him! Deku please forgive him, he has terrible people skills." Higashi-san berrated the taller hero.

"No, it's okay!" Deku raised his hands in a placating maner, already seeing Kacchan about to lose his cool. "That's just how he is. Besides, I am kind of nerdy so it's not an insult for me!"

"Are you sure? If you feel uncomfortable I can call Best Jeanist right away, you should be beyond a mess like this." She gave a onceover to Ground Zero. "He can't control himself around people. Like now! You're here trying to help his image and he is mean and insulting." Kacchan, for his part, looked bored with the conversation. And only when his eyes found Izuku's, he moved an eyebrow like saying _I fucking told you so_.

Yeah, this was not going to work for him.

"Higashi-san" He spoke, standing to his full height. She widen her eyes. He might still be a hair shorter than Kacchan, but both of them had grown a lot over the years. And he knew that thanks to his training, he was somewhat imposing. "Please spare Ground Zero. I am the one that started the argument, I will not stand here and hear you blame him for my mistakes." The woman just stood there, opening and closing her mouth, clearly not expecting that kind of response from him.

"This is a fucking joke…" Katsuki sighed before Deku felt a heavy hand land on his shoulder. For anyone else, it would look like a friendly pat. For Deku it was a clear warning to shut the hell up. "I don't need you to fight my battles, nerd." He looked at the woman. "And as entertaining as this is, we're on a schedule, so just tell us what needs to be done, we can handle the rest."

"Yes…" She shook her head before giving them a shark like smile. "Actually, I think we can use this to our advantage."

"Use what?" Deku questioned, feeling weary.

"Deku, being protective of Ground Zero. This will help shifting people's perspective of him." She shrugged. "If a hero so wholesome like yourself, stands up for him. It gets you thinking about things."

"Forget about it. Just tell me what the fuck _I_ should do and get over this shit, woman." Kacchan let go of him and crossed his arms.

"Always so difficult." She said between her teeth. "Well, the comunity center is very important, this location specially will help out a big amount of kids that are not in the best situation." She walked to her desk and took a couple of pamphlets before handing them to them. "The All Might Comunity Center will be…"

"Fucking nerd!" Deku jumped at Katsuki's exclamation. "This PR stunt it's your fucking idea, isn't it?"

"What if it was? It doesn't change anything. I'm just making the best out of this situation!" He faced the other hero. Kacchan groaned, a couple of small explosions leaving his hands, before he took a very angry breath and nodded at Higashi-san.

"As I was saying…" she made an effort to look annoyed at them. "This will be important, so these little scenes that you're making here, are to be avoided at all costs." She made a thinking face. "I think we can have a meet and greet, have you sign a couple of things, pose for pictures and then have a little match…"

"NO!" Deku and Kacchan yelled, making the woman jump.

"We uh…let's just say that it would be too messy to fight." Izuku explained, passing a hand through the back of his neck.

"We could put people in danger. I agree with all the other shit, but the nerd and I will not spar. Did you not see our matches back in UA?" He asked the PR representative.

"I did, it was quite a show…but, yes. Now that I think about it, I see your point." She sighed putting her hands akimbo. "How about…sparring with the kids, I know there are a lot of them interested in the hero course. Maybe you can have 15 minutes with each kid to give them a few tips and tricks." Izuku raised his eyebrows.

"That sounds awesome! I would've died if that happened to me when I was a kid."

"Yeah, agreed." Kacchan told her. "Now what?"

"Well, we have to make a list of the kids. For time efficiency, we can have only the ones with the best quirks to…"

"Not going to happen." Kacchan interrupted again. The woman glared at him.

"What is it now?"

"We are two, we can give the pep talk to all the kids. Not just the ones with strong quirks, every kid has the chance of becoming a hero." Izuku felt his heart jump to his throat.

"I agree!" He was fast to say.

"They will have you there the whole day..." Both of them shrugged. "Fine! Let me make some calls and set this up." She passed a hand through her face. "I'm aiming to start the event tomorrow at 8 am on the dot, you have to be there at 7. Don't be late."

"Yeah, we'll be there." Kacchan agreed, clearly annoyed by the situation. "Anything else?"

"Take the rest of the day off." She deadpaned.

"Whatever the hell for?!" Kacchan shouted. "I just got here!"

"Tomorrow will be a full day of acting like a normal human and interacting with kids. I _know_ how hard that is for you." The woman raised her eyebrow, challenging the other to contradict her. "I need you fresh and with the best face possible. So no field work for today, stay home and check your cases, do your paperwork. I don't care, just lay low." She smiled sweetly at the blond. "Jeanist gave me full authority on this circus. Either listen to me or you know the other option."

"Fine." Kacchan spat, there was a really impressive vein pulsing on his forehead. "Anything else?"

"No, that would be all for now. Tomorrow I'll give you your schedules and game rules." Hagashi-san smiled at Deku. "It's such a pleasure! Lets work together to make this event worthwhile, yes?"

"Yes! Thank you." He smiled and vowed, seeing Kacchan make a quick exit, only raising his hand as goodbye.

"Behave!" Was all she said before turning around to her desk.

"Ka _-Bakugou_ -kun wait!" Deku ran and was automatically stopped by a glare from the blond.

"FUCKING FINE! Call me Kacchan you nerd!" He barked.

"R-really?" His smile was so wide his cheeks began to hurt.

"It's weird as shit! Besides, it's fucking annoying to hear you say ka- _Bakugou_ every time!" He mocked mimicking a poor version of Izuku's voice, all high pitched and trembling.

"I do not sound like that!" Deku yelped.

"Yeah you do" Kacchan snorted. "Like fucking baby." Deku glared at him, before jumping into a perfect copy of Ground Zero's battle stance.

"DIE! YOU BASTARD! DIE! DIE!" Now it was Katsuki the one with the affronted look at Deku's exaggerated mock of his voice.

"You're way too adorable to make that work."

"Ehh?!" Izuku stumbled back not expecting that AT ALL. For his part, Katsuki's cheeks turned an amazing shade of red, like his own words had suprised him. They stood like that for a complete minutes before Kacchan turned around and power walked away from him. "Kacchan!" Deku yelled prior running after him. "Wait!" And suprisingly, he did. "I was planing on going to visit All Might, want to come? He would be very happy to see us both at the same time." The shorter man quicky said before the blond decited to hightail out of there.

"I don't…" Katsuki began shaking his head.

"Please!" Deku raised his hands in a placating way. "I'm asking for him. You know he's not happy about how things turned out and well…he's old and…"

"That's low. You devious little shit." Kacchan spoke, narrowing his eyes. "Using the old man like that…" He looked away and Izuku could've sworn he saw a hint of a smile on his lips. "If I go, will you let me the fuck alone for the rest of the day?"

"Yes! It's a deal!" Deku smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow morning anyway." He shrugged.

"Is it your fucking goal in life to harrass me to death?"

"Pretty much." Deku put his hands on his waist, trying to look comfident. "I'm not planning on leaving you out f my sight for long." As soon as those words left his lips, he knew he had fucked up.

"Only for another two years when you get tired of me, yes?" Izuku felt that sentence like a kick in the gut. His eyes looked for Kacchan's only to find cold steel, instead of the warm flames he was used to. "Don't forget that I'm doing this because I have no other choice. I don't want to be here and I sure as hell don't want to be near you." He took a step back. "We'll be friendly tomorrow during the event, we will only talk about the mission and we will tolerate each other at the wedding. That's it."

"Kacchan, please…let me explain." Izuku spoke, trying to keep his heart and hopes from falling appart.

"Talk" The blond said, his eyes unchanged. Deku opened his mouth a couple of times, unsure on how to tell him, but for his life, he had no idea how to begin. "Figured as much." Katsuki passed a hand through his eyes. "Give my regards to All Might." He walked away.

Deku couldn't find it in him to stop him.

In a daze, Izuku turned around and walked to the stairs, then ran until he reached the roof exit. He felt like suffocating, he needed to be outside.

 _His muscles shaking, his crimson eyes bloodshot and lost._

He shook his head, desperate to clear those images from his mind. The day had been good enough, he had almost felt normal.

 _You were the one who left!_

He cursed and let One For All run through his body. He closed his eyes, feeling the power run through on his skin before he jumped.

In what it felt like a blink, he found himself outside of Yagi Toshinori's retirement home. Before knocking, he took a moment to try to calm his breathing, to look like a normal and happy hero.

"One would're thought that becoming a pro, would make you less of a crybaby." A warm voice said at his right. Izuku let out a small laugh that ended up like a choked little sound. "My boy." Before he knew it, a pair of arms surrounded him.

"I'm sorry." Deku spoke, returning the embrace. "I just can't seem to measure up to you, can I?" He let his face rest on the bony shoulder of his predecesor.

"You know that's not right…want to talk about it?"

"I don't know how to stop this…it's so messed up." The man sighed before pushing him away. A pair of fiery blue eyes looked at him.

"You don't have to fight alone, my boy." Toshinori put a hand on his head, messing up his curls. "Let him help you."

"I-I tried to tell him." Izuku passed his hands through his face, clearing up the tears. "I couldn't. I barely have an idea of what's going on…I don't know how to explain it to him."

"You talked to me. Why is he any different?" All Might took a step back and motioned his house. "Come on, let's have some tea. It might help you calm down." Izuku nodded and looked around, finally noticing that the veteran hero had been working on his garden.

The eternal fight between All Might and keeping plants alive, continued.

"The flowers look good." He said.

"Yes! I think I'm figuring out why they kept dying. I had to change the dirt of the whole area twice. It's a good work out." The man smiled delighted. They entered the house and Toshinori signaled him to sit in the living room. "Let me get the tea."

Izuku nodded and walked to the area. He sat down with a sight. "Have you ever been…in this kind of situation?"

"I'm afraid not, my boy." All Might walked to him with a couple of cups, he gave one to Deku before sitting on the chair in front of him. "Your relationship with young Bakugou has always been special. Not just to you, but for us too." He smiled. "I still remember Aizawa-kun's insistense in pushing you to solve your differences. We felt there was something great hidden under all that anger and hurt." He sighed. "I won't presume to understand your choices over the years, but I know that protecting him has become your mission. For that, let me tell you this: win. Win to protect, win to move forward." Toshinori smiled. "Having to bear the burden of One for All can become a lonely path. In my case, out of fear of having the same fate as my predesor, I never let anyone special in my life. I was suposed to be the center point of it all, it was too dangerous to have anyone by my side. As it was, living as All Might became a higher priority than living as Yagi." Izuku fisted his hands, for him it was a lot more difficult to see the line between himself and Deku, mostly, because there was one person that connected both so throughly he had no idea where one ended and the other began. "You on the other hand." All Might continued. "Have the blessing that is to have one of the most powerful heroes, be that special someone. A person that is both for the hero Deku and for Izuku, the man."

"I'm so scared, All Might." Izuku whispered, tears clouding his sight. "What if it…?"

"Do you remember what I told you all those years ago?" The older man interrupted him.

"Press your butt?" Deku tried to joke, Toshinori harrumped before shaking his head.

"Pro's are always risking their lives." All Might's eyes turned serious. "Bakugou-kun knows this very well. Don't you think that, trying to protect him will not only damage his ego, but disrespect him as a hero?" Deku's breath hitched.

"I know…" He sighed moving forward, pushing his face to his hands. "There's one more thing." Toshinori frowned, sensing the change in Deku's voice.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to worry you but…" Deku incorporated. Green eyes shined with a type of resolution that All Might had only seen directed at Shigaraki. "I came back because I found him. The villain that Kacchan and I are tailing, is the one that did this to me."


End file.
